Site Navigation

Tony Horton’s Rant!

If you have been following me for awhile you probably have seen me post this before but it’s worth a repeat post.  Below is a copy Tony Horton’s famous rant.  I love every single word of it and I don’t think I need to add a thing.  Take heed and enjoy my friends.

 

ALRIGHT, SIT BACK, AND RELAX.
LET’S GO OVER A COUPLE OF THINGS.
THERE SEEMS TO BE A GENERAL LACK OF WILLPOWER,
AND THERE ALSO SEEMS TO BE, LIKE CAN I SAY IT, POOR PLANNING.
SHOWING UP TO A PARTY HUNGRY, NEVER A GOOD IDEA, YOU’RE SCREWED.
NOW I COULD SIT HERE AND I COULD TELL YOU LITTLE TIPS ABOUT HOW TO HELP YOU CONTROL YOUR EATING HABITS,
IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR FOOD, AND I DO IT WEEK AFTER WEEK, MONTH AFTER MONTH,YEAR AFTER YEAR
AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE SAME PEOPLE (I KNOW WHO YOU ARE – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) CONTINUE TO JUST LET FOOD WIN.
AM I CORRECT?
I MEAN, YOU DO THE PROGRAMS, AND YOU COME INTO THE CHAT ROOMS AND YOU GO INTO MESSAGE BOARDS
AND YOU’RE PART OF THE COMMUNITY AND YOU HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS, AND YOU LOSE SOME WEIGHT, AND GAIN IT BACK
THEN YOU LOSE SOME MORE, AND GAIN BACK MORE, AND IT’S JUST A CYCLE THAT CONTINUES.
SOMETIMES YOU TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES YOU DON’T.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
SAD, BORING AND PATHETIC, REALLY…
YOU BLAME IT ON YOUR PARENTS AND YOU BLAME IT ON WORK
AND YOU BLAME IT ON STRESS
AND YOU BLAME IT ON POOR PLANNING,
OR ON THE WEATHER OR LACK OF SLEEP
AND YOU SORT OF TAKE THE BLAME, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ANY CHANGES.
I MEAN, IF IT DOESN’T MATTER
CUZ APPARENTLY IT DOESN’T
CUZ IF IT DID
THIS WOULD NO LONGER BE A PROBLEM FOR MOST OF YOU.
BUT THE SAD FACT OF THE MATTER IS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
IT’S NOT LIKE THIS COMPANY IS SELLING YOU SOME SILLY WEIGHT LOSS DIET PROGRAM THAT IS ASKING YOU TO EAT FUNKY PORTIONS OF STUPID FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU HAVE TEMPTATIONS AND YOU SUCCUMB TO THEM. PERIOD.
NOW MY JOB TONIGHT IS NOT TO SIT HERE AND POINT FINGERS AND CALL YOU NAMES, AND SAY THAT YOU ARE LOSERS.
BUT IT’S TIME FOR A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE PEOPLE.
AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, I’M 50 AND LIFE IS EXTRAORDINARILY SHORT.
I FEEL LIKE I’VE LIVED 10 LIVES ALREADY AND AS WE ALL GET OLDER, IT DOESN’T GET ANY EASIER, UNLESS WE DO THE RIGHT THING.
SUCCUMBING TO TEMPTATION BASED ON OUTSIDE INFLUENCES AND INFLUENCES INSIDE OUR HEADS
JUST MAKES LIFE SUCH A DULL BORING FRUSTRATING DRAG.
ICK!
IS THIS WHAT WE WANT?
IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH?
IS IT?
BUT WHAT THE HELL YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
BECAUSE CHANGE IS A ***** MAN.
BUT IF YOU WANT THE LIFE THAT I THINK YOU THINK YOU DESERVE, THEN YOU HAVE TO DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU’RE DOING.
CUZ I GOTTA SAY, WHEN I SHOW UP TO EVENTS (TEAM BEACHBODY EVENTS OR CAMPS) AND I SEE PEOPLE WHO USED TO BE FIT WHO AREN’T, I JUST THINK, WHAT HAPPENED?
AND I KNOW THE ECONOMY IS ROUGH AND THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE THAT ARE BRUTAL, BUT SINCE WHEN DOES FOOD SOLVE ANY OF OUR PROBLEMS?
IT MAKES THINGS WORSE!
WE NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE US FEEL GOOD FOR 10 SECONDS, BUT ALL IT’S DOING IS MAKING OUR SITUATION WORSE!
[LisaErin82] Tony__how did you get into fitness? what keeps you going day in and day out? do you take ‘breaks’ throughout the year?
LISA, GOOD QUESTION.
WHICH TIES INTO THIS TOPIC.
BECAUSE I HAVE TO!
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO!
BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE SUCKS!
MANY PEOPLE IN THIS CHAT ROOM KNOW THAT IT?S TOO VITAL, IT’S TOO IMPORTANT.
IT MAKES LIFE SO MUCH BETTER. NOT TO DO IT MAKES FOR A LESSER LIFE.
SO IF YOU DON’T MIND YOUR LESSER LIFE KEEP ON EATING CRAP BASED ON ALL YOUR LAME EXCUSES.
I GOT INTO FITNESS BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOOK BETTER, I STAYED IN FITNESS BECAUSE I LIKE FEELING BETTER.
I LIKE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE TO IMPROVE, BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THAT EXERCISE AND EATING RIGHT DOES THAT.
I LIKE BEING FIT AND I LIKE BEING HEALTHY.
I UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THOSE THINGS
I ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT TO ACHIEVE THEM, I HAVE TO EAT RIGHT AND EXERCISE AT LEAST 6 DAYS A WEEK
MY POOR EATING HAS DIMINISHED LESS AND LESS OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS.
I’VE ALMOST CUT CHOCOLATE OUT. WHICH IS HARD FOR ME.
I NOTICE THAT WHEN I GET TO THAT ROUGH PATCH OF 2 OR 3 WEEKS WHEN I’M TRYING TO GET OFF OF ANY KIND OF A PARTICULAR BAD FOOD HABIT THE CRAVINGS GO AWAY AND I FEEL BETTER MORE OFTEN.
I SLEEP BETTER.
MY DIGESTION IS BETTER.
MY ENERGY IS UP.
MY MOODS ARE UPBEAT AND POSITIVE MORE OFTEN.
BTW, FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR DIET (WHICH I KNOW IS PROBABLY MORE THAN 11 OF YOU)
IF YOU NOTICE YOU’RE STRUGGLING IN LIFE, GUESS WHAT?
THAT STRUGGLE COMES WITH WHAT YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH FIRST, NOT VISA VERSA
ONE CAUSES THE OTHER.
IT’S NOT COINCIDENCE THAT YOUR WACK DIET IS PART OF YOUR WACK LIFE.
EVERYBODY READ ME?
HEARING ME?
FEELING ME?
ANYBODY THINK I’M TALKING TO THEM DIRECTLY?
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
KINDA CRAPPY, RIGHT?
AS DR. PHIL WOULD SAY
HOW’S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?
WHEN THIS CHAT IS OVER TONIGHT I WANT YOU TO WALK AWAY WITH SOME THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD THAT MIGHT NOT EXIST AFTER A NORMAL CHAT.
ONE THOUGHT OR QUESTION I SHOULD SAY IS… WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING.
YOU’RE JUST LETTING LIFE PUSH YOU AROUND.
SUPER LEAN, SUPER RIPPED, SUPER HEALTHY, SUPER STRONG PEOPLE DO EVERYTHING RIGHT.
PEOPLE THAT ARE PRETTY RIPPED, PRETTY HEALTHY, PRETTY STRONG, DO MOST THINGS RIGHT
PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT OVERWEIGHT, NOT UNHEALTHY, BUT LOOK OK DO ABOUT HALF OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS RIGHT.
I COULD KEEP GOING BUT YOU UNDERSTAND WHERE I’M HEADED.
3 MONTHS AGO, I WAS DOING MY 90/10 % PLAN AND THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD, YOU KNOW, 6 PACK, ETC.
BUT WHEN I CLEANED IT UP MORE, I’M JUST LEANER AND I FEEL BETTER.
IT WORKED FOR ME
AND I DON’T MISS THE CHOCOLATE.
YOU KIDS NEED A PLAN.
ANYBODY WANT A PLAN RIGHT NOW?
FREE OF CHARGE?
NOW THIS PLAN IS SO SIMPLE IT’S GONNA FREAK YOU OUT!
YOU HAVE YOUR PIECES OF PAPER AND WRITING UTENSILS READY?
AT THE TOP OF A PIECE OF PAPER WRITE THIS;
I, [WRITE YOUR OWN NAME] HEREBY DECLARE THAT I WILL FOLLOW THE TONY HORTON FOOD PLAN FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.
I’M GONNA GIVE YOU KIDS THE HARD CORE VERSION NOT MODIFIED VERSIONS OF THE FOOD PLAN.
OK, PICK UP YOUR PENCILS AGAIN.
#1
FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS I WILL NOT EAT WHITE BREAD OR ANYTHING MADE WITH ENRICHED FLOUR OR PROCESSED FLOUR
SNICKERS BARS.
DONE!
OUT!
GONE!
BYE BYE!
SEE YA LATER!
NO MAS!
SIANARA!
GOT IT?
GET IT?
DO IT!
#2
I WILL GREATLY REDUCE MY DIARY INTAKE.
AND FOR SOME OF YOU NO MORE DIARY!
GET IT?
DO IT!
NO MORE PIZZA WITH A TON OF CHEESE!
NO MORE MILK!
NO MORE ICE CREAM!
GONE!
OUT!
GO BUY SOME ALMOND MILK OR RICE MILK.
OR I’LL SMACK YA.
#3
NO MORE CARBONATED BEVERAGES.
NO MORE PEPSI.
NO MORE COKE.
NO MORE 7 UP.
NO MORE SPRITE.
NO MORE DR. PEPPER.
NO MORE DIET PEPSI.
NO MORE DIET COKE.
NO MORE ZERO COKE.
NO MORE MOUNTAIN DEW.
NONE!
#4
WATER AND TEA ONLY!
IF YOU’RE A COFFEE PSYCHO, 1 CUP A DAY.
SHUT UP AND DO IT!
#5
AT LEAST 2 OF YOUR MEALS A DAY THERE’D BETTER BE VEGETABLES ON YOUR PLATE.
1 MEAL A DAY, THERE’D BETTER BE FRUIT.
DO IT
#6
HERE’S HOW YOU’RE GETTING YOUR PROTEIN.
NUTS, BEANS, FISH, TURKEY, AND CHICKEN.
THAT’S IT!
SHUT UP AND DO IT!
GET OFF THE RED MEAT FOR A WHILE.
OFF!
I DON’T CARE ABOUT LEAN RED MEAT.
JUST GET OFF OF IT!
#7
FOR THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF YOUR 30 DAY PLAN
WRITE IT DOWN!
WRITE IT DOWN!
EVERY MORSEL!
“OH, BUT TONY, THAT’S SO HARD, IT TAKES TIME, WHAT IF I FORGET A PEN? WHAT IF I’VE LOST MY PAD OF PAPER TO WRITE DOWN WHAT I’VE EATEN? DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING IN MY SALAD? WHAT IF THERE’S AVOCADO, PEPPERS, MUSHROOMS, NUTS, IN DIFFERENT KINDS OF SALAD, DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL DOWN?”
SHUT UP YOU WHINY LITTLE BI*****!
IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LARGE AND YOU WANT THIS MICROSCOPICALLY SHORT LIFE OF YOURS TO BE WORTH SHOWING UP FOR
THEN YOU’LL MAKE A PLAN.
Y
OU’LL DO WHAT I SAY AND THINGS WILL BE GOOD!
OR YOU’LL KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING AND THEN YOU’LL JUST BE WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, OR WORSE.
OKAY?
THIS COUNTRY HAS TURNED INTO PRE-ROME, AND THE EMPIRE’S ABOUT TO COLLAPSE.
THE ONLY WAY WE CAN BEGIN TO TURN IT AROUND IS TO START TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES FIRST, SO THAT WE HAVE THE ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM TO TAKE CARE OF THE REST OF THE CRAP THAT IS GOING SOUTH IN OUR LIVES.
POOR EATING HABITS AND LACK OF PHYSICAL MOVEMENT HAS TURNED THE VAST MAJORITY OF US INTO WHINY LITTLE CRY BABY LOSERS.
FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE LIVING IN THIS STATE OF QUIET DESPERATION.
IT’S LIKE JOE THE PLUMBER…
GOOD GRIEF!
THE GUY, AND NOT TO GET POLITICAL, BECAUSE IT’S NOT POLITICAL AT ALL.
HERE’S A GUY PRETENDING TO BE A PLUMBER
WHEN HE’S ACTUALLY AN UNLICENSED CONTRACTOR WHO DOES PLUMBING, PROCLAIMING THAT HE HAS THE MONEY TO BUY THIS $250,000 PLUMBING BUSINESS, WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE PLUMBING BUSINESS IS ACTUALLY A $100,000 PLUMBING BUSINESS. HE STILL OWES BACK TAXES AND HE MAKES LESS THAN $40k A YEAR. JOE IS MAKING THINGS UP TO MAKE A POINT.
SO JOE THE PLUMBER NEEDS TO READ LAW #5
GET REAL JOE!
WE HAVE TO STOP PRETENDING THAT LIFE IS SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO US.
THE POINT I’M TRYING TO MAKE FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE STILL A LITTLE CONFUSED IS THAT WE HAVE TO TAKE CONTROL OF OUR LIVES. THE ONE THAT IS HAPPENING, NOT THE PRETEND ONE.
WE HAVE TO TAKE CONTROL OF OUR EATING.
WE HAVE TO STOP THE FANTASY VERSION AND START BELIEVING IN THE REAL ONE.
WE HAVE TO STOP PRETENDING THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER BECAUSE WE JUST BOUGHT A NEW CRYSTAL, OR OUR PALM READING WENT WELL, OR SOMEBODY ELSE’LL DO IT FOR US, OR IF WE JUST HOPE OR PRAY IT’LL GET BETTER ON ITS OWN.
GOOD GRIEF!
IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU!
IT’S JUST YOU.
YOU AND NO ONE ELSE.
NOT YOUR HUSBAND, NOT YOUR WIFE.
NOT GOD.
NOT YOUR PARENTS.
NOT YOUR WORK.
NOT THE WEATHER.
NONE OF IT.
IT’S YOU AND THE INFORMATION OR LACK THEREOF, INSIDE YOUR BRAIN.
THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE MORE YOU CAN DO
I CAN GET IN HERE AND SHOW YOU LITTLE TRICKS ABOUT HOW TO EAT BETTER OR DO PUSHUPS ON YOUR KNEES BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS SUCCESS IS A DEEPER MORE PROFOUND LOOK WITHIN.
ARE YOU WITH ME PEOPLE?
CAN YOU DIG IT?
IF YOU STICK WITH THE SIMPLE PIECES TO THAT PUZZLE OR THAT PLAN, WEIGHT WILL COME FLYING OFF.
YOUR BODY WILL CHANGE.
I DON’T WANT YOU TO COUNT CALORIES.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO EAT SMALLER MEALS.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO NOT EAT A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.
I ALSO WANT TO SAY THAT THERE’S A LIST IN LIFE.
THE GOOD LIFE LIST
THINGS LIKE;
GETTING 7 1/2 TO 8 HOURS OF SLEEP. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO PASS AN EXAM TO KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
EXERCISE 5_6 DAYS A WEEK. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR PERMISSION FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU JUST DO IT!
EATING FRUITS, VEGETABLES, WHOLE GRAINS, AND LEAN PROTEIN AND NOT ALL THE OTHER GARBAGE IS HOW YOU STAY HEALTHY.
THAT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.
YOU KNOW, STUFF LIKE BRUSH YOUR DAMN TEETH TWICE A DAY.
FLOSS ONCE IN A WHILE.
DON’T BLOW OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD SO YOU CAN’T PAY IT OFF.
CHOOSE PATIENCE OVER RAGE.
BE IN THE MOMENT.
ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
DON’T BE ATTACHED TO THE OUTCOME.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, BECAUSE IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF.
OPEN THE DOOR.
TRY NEW THINGS.
CHANGE IS GOOD.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKE_MINDED, UPBEAT, GOOD HUMORED PEOPLE.
OKAY, HERE’S THE BOOK OF THE WEEK
IT’S CALLED “MADE TO STICK”
THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU FORMULATE NEW HABITS, THAT STICK.
THE AMAZING THING ABOUT EXERCISE AND EATING WELL…THE OUTCOME. IF YOU’RE CONSISTENT.
IT’S THE SAME FOR EVERYONE.
I KNOW I GOT ON MY BOX NICE AND TALL HERE TODAY BUT I JUST HATE SEEING SMART PEOPLE MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
IT’S GOT TO BE FRUSTRATING.
WHEN IT COME TO HEALTH AND FITNESS (IN GENERAL) THERE’S 3 GROUPS OF PEOPLE.
THE FIRST GROUP IS, PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW BETTER.
THEY HAVEN’T COME ACROSS THIS INFORMATION YET. THEY’RE STILL BUYING INTO WEIGHT WATCHERS, NUTRISYSTEM, HERBAL LIFE AND OTHER PROGRAMS THAT WORK AS LONG AS YOU USE THEM.
BUT I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’S BEEN DOING WEIGHT WATCHERS FOR 15 YEARS.
THEY’RE “WEIGHT LOSS ONLY” PRODUCTS THAT ARE TEMPORARY FIXES.
THESE SAME FOLKS ARE BUYING STUPID AB CHAIRS, AB LOUNGES AND SOME ROTATING PUSHUP STANDS. THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE BODY?
GIVE ME A BREAK!
THEY DON’T KNOW BETTER SO THEY GET TO BE STUCK.
THEN THERE’S CATEGORY 2
PEOPLE THAT COME HERE AND UNDERSTAND THAT EXERCISE HAS TO HAPPEN 5_6 DAYS A WEEK. VARIETY WORKS!
THERE HAS TO BE INTENSITY AND CONSISTENCY.
THESE PEOPLE ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT HEALTHY FOOD IS PART OF THE EQUATION. WHEN FOLKS IN CATEGORY 2 DISCOVER THIS INFORMATION THEY UNDERSTAND IT’S IMPORTANCE LIKE AIR AND WATER AND LIVE IT.
FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE (THERE ARE SOME OF YOU THAT ARE IN THIS CHAT ROOM) ARE IN CATEGORY 3
PEOPLE WHO KNOW BETTER BUT AREN’T WILLING TO APPLY THE INFORMATION.
IT’S LIKE KNOWING HOW TO BREATHE BUT DECIDING TO CONSTANTLY HOLD YOUR BREATH TO BE MISERABLE.
IT’S SUCH A BUMMER.

THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE THE SADDEST OF ALL.
NOT FROM MY PERSPECTIVE, BUT FROM THEIR OWN.
DOES THIS SOUND LIKE IT MAKES SENSE TO ANYONE IN HERE?
[Neeeena] If I say “yes” will you not call us b*tches anymore?
NEEENA, I’LL CALL YOU WHAT I WANT Smile
AND I MEAN IT IN THE NICEST MOST LOVING CARING POSSIBLE WAY.
AND LIKE DR. PHIL WOULD SAY
SO HOW’S THAT GOING FOR YOU?
[Neeeena] ok then dude, you’re getting a “nice and most loving caring ” email.
SO WE KNOW OUR PLAN, CORRECT?
WE KNOW WHAT TO DO, RIGHT?
WE’RE GONNA DO IT RIGHT?
WHY NOT?
THE END RESULT WILL BE AWESOME!
YOU CAN ALL HAVE WHAT I HAVE AND I’M NOT THAT SMART.
I JUST FOLLOW THE RULES.
I’M LIKE SCOTT FIFER.
JUST FOLLOW THE RULES
ALRIGHT, KIDS, THAT’S IT
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
THAT’S IT, I’M OUT
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE
SEEYA IN 2 WEEKS

~Tony Horton

 

Comments

comments